In all relationships, there comes a time when one asks the question, “Why am I doing all the housework?”. No one (or almost no one) likes to do housework. Yet there is always one individual in a partnership which bears the burden of doing the most, or doing it all, when it comes to keeping the household in tip top shape.

How Did I Get Here?

When two people decide to move in together, what happens is that each usually falls into a certain role when it comes to the household tasks. One of the two individuals, usually the female, will take on the majority of the work. It begins with fixing of the beds in the morning, then the preparation of breakfast followed by the cleanup of the kitchen and so on.

Perhaps it all commences because the partner who has taken on the role of cleaning up the house, is the more nurturing of the two. Perhaps it’s the example that society has given us. Some of us grew up in households where dad worked outside of the home and many moms used to be stay-at-home moms who would take care of the household and the children. But things have changed. In today’s society and with today’s economy, most households have both mom and dad working outside of the home.

And yet the role of the housekeeper falls mainly on the shoulders of the female in the relationship. Turn on any tv channel and you will see commercials where the female is the protagonist, the one who is doing the laundry, mopping the floors and doing the cooking.

What can we do to turn things around?

Setting the Ground Rules from Day 1

If you haven’t moved in with that special someone yet, but are considering it, maybe you should think about talking to your partner about what chores each of you will take on after moving in together. Perhaps you should think about what task each of you would find the least burdensome. Maybe one prefers to do the cooking, while the other one would prefer to do the laundry. Another option could be alternating chores each week so that they don’t become too tedious.

If you are already in a relationship where you are the go-to person for everything that needs to be done at home, you could approach the matter by asking your partner for some help. It could start out with a simple request for them to help out one evening a week with dinner preparation. You could then slowly implement other chores. Over time, this help could become routine.

A Simple “Thank you” Goes a Long Way

Many of us do the things that we do everyday around the house without ever hearing any gratitude from anyone. Sometimes, we ourselves take for granted the things that our partners do for us. Acknowledging and showing regards for our partners and all they do for us could help to encourage and sustain any help that we receive from them. Help from them will help alleviate the burden that many of us feel from taking on the whole responsibility of household chores. And it will help to make the old adage of “Home sweet home” ring even truer.